How An Afternoon Spent Crying Led Me to Discover A More Positive Mindset
I know that sounds like a sad, pity party title for a blog post but this is a happy day for me. Yesterday I got hit with some hard truths from the people who are closest to me. I cried, because that hurts and so does the truth. However that story is not the point of all this, that story is just the prelude to this happy post.
I am happy because when I was lying on my bed, bawling my eyes out, I saw my camera sitting next to me and decided to photograph the moment. I thought it would be a funny and harsh contrast to the rest of the carefully curated beauty photos on my SD card.
And as I was taking these self portraits of myself at the lowest I'd been in a long time the guest, that I'd forgotten was arriving that night, arrived. So while they were getting out of their car I was scrambling around my room, slapping on foundation and hoping it would cover my blotchy, red face and wet, shiny cheeks. And it did well enough.
However at the end of the night, when I was picking up my camera that had been discarded on the ground in my earlier haste, I thought I'd better finish what I'd started and photograph myself after covering my earlier crying. I was wearing foundation and bronzer and even though my eyes were still a little shiny, I could get away with looking how I normally do.
The reason I am happy is because today, when I downloaded the photos and went back through them, I discovered that I like myself better when I'm crying. Not because I am crying, but because I am being myself.
I remember thinking at that moment that I had no need to pose or find a good angle because I was already crying, I had nothing to lose, so I just photographed how I was at that very moment.
I like the smile that I have with the tears in my eyes more than the carefully quirked lips I wear when I have foundation covering my crying, blotchy skin.
I am happy today because I have decided that I'm not going to bother anymore with the posed photographs and wearing makeup that's on trend and clothes that "suit" my body. I'm going to do whatever I want which includes smiling in photos even though it makes my cheeks puff out and my face go all round.
I can't say that I'm at a point in my life where I don't care what other people think of me but I'll get there one day. And doing the things that make me happy is the place to start.
This blog is called Beauty Joy Review and I don't think that beauty is found through makeup. I think makeup enhances the beauty that can already be found in a persons eyes and through their smile. And I think if makeup and fashion help bring out that smile then that's beauty too.